satai

Takes place during the escape sequence in Exit Strategy. Double backslash paragraph breaks indicate a separate section that does not follow directly from the previous one. Any and all comments and suggestions are welcomed.

-

One of my alerts tripped. *They're sending a security sweep.*

Mensah said nothing, but her grip on my hand tightened.

I squeezed her hand back and tilted my head towards a nearby [alleyway] of sorts, a throughway between two larger buildings. It wouldn't protect us in the long term, but getting out of direct line of sight was better than doing nothing.

We had moments before they spotted us. I wasn't confident that my not-a-SecUnit code would be able to stand up to deliberate, close scrutiny, and if I seemed at all suspicious a closer look would reveal that I was with Mensah. We needed to shake them. They needed not to look at us at all.

Think, Murderbot, think. What's something a SecUnit would never do?

Then it hit me.

*Dr. Mensah. I'm going to kiss you.* Then, thinking of Pin-Lee: *Please don't freak out.*

Mensah's eyes widened. I had never seen her look shocked like this before, not even when she first heard me in her feed at the beginning of this stupid rescue. As I leaned down, I registered an affirmative ping in my feed. Good. I wasn't sure what I would have done if she hadn't been okay with it. Fought my way through a group of human security personnel and SecUnits and died trying, probably. Ignoring the alarms blaring in my head - metaphorical ones, that is, not the real ones I would have had to actually pay attention to - I surged forward and pressed my lips to hers.

As our lips made contact, I realized my plan had more holes in it than I had expected. Foremost in my mind: I didn't know how to kiss. I had seen humans kissing (and other things) many, many times, in media and in real life, but I had generally looked away. Kissing always seemed like one of the messier kinds of human behavior, both physically and emotionally, and I was happy to ignore it when at all possible. Which was most of the time. I only had a rough idea of how it was supposed to work, and even I knew you weren't supposed to stand stock still touching your lips together. Your mouth was supposed to move, I was pretty sure. But how the hell did that work? Did you open and close it? Pretend you were talking without any sound? That couldn't be right. Panic had me frozen.

Great, I used up the last of my bravado initiating this and now we were both going to be killed. Being torn to pieces by other SecUnits while kissing a human client wasn't exactly how I wanted to die. My performance reliability ticked down two whole percentage points.

Mensah seemed to sense my terror. Probably not hard. I can't imagine that my face had anything approaching a reasonable expression. Her eyes softened, and she did something I normally dread when it comes to humans: she took control of the situation. She reached her hands up and sort of cradled my face between her palms. I forced myself not to flinch; it served the dual purpose of shielding my probably- inappropriate expression from onlookers and making us appear more intimate. Mensah also did something that softened her lips - relaxed them, probably? She had definitely felt stiff when we first made contact - and started moving her mouth in ways that I was pretty sure were more traditional kissing motions than standing stock still in fear. Not that I had any personal experience to judge off. She also leaned up into me, which was nice, because I didn't have to crane my neck as far down.

I was pretty sure humans usually closed their eyes while kissing, and I realized that it might seem weird to any observers (not to mention Mensah)(although if her eyes were closed, she wouldn't notice, right?), but I couldn't help but keep mine open. I needed to analyse all of Mensah's reactions if I wanted any chance at responding quickly enough to make this kiss authentic enough to serve as a distraction. I could delete the footage afterwards.

//

We needed to *really* throw off the security team. A relatively chaste kiss wasn't going to cut it. I knew that more "intense" human kisses tended to involve open mouths, but the idea of that made me feel squeamish. SecUnits do produce saliva, but only enough to lubricate our mouths for talking and to wash out dust. It always seemed sufficient to me, especially when compared to the gooey human alternative - why did humans have so many *fluids*, and why were they all so disgusting? - and I wasn't keen on adding any more moisture.

I put one of my hands at the nape of her neck. I wasn't confident enough to wind my fingers into her hair.

//

I felt her tongue at the seam of my lips. I opened my mouth, just enough to let her in.

And oh.

Huh.

*That* was new.

I'm a SecUnit. We aren't designed for physical intimacy, at least not the kind that doesn't end in broken bones. I don't have the body parts for most of the extracurricular activities humans like.

But like holding Mensah's hand, kissing Mensah was beginning to feel... natural. It couldn't be less natural. And yet.

I didn't know how to feel about that.

//

She grabbed my hands and pulled them to her waist. I gripped her automatically, pulling her closer to me. We were already pretty close. Her breasts pressed against my torso, something I wouldn't normally notice when in close physical proximity to a client, but which rang a few bells from media romance scenes I had skimmed. Was I supposed to touch them? I hoped not. The idea was so disconcerting that it dropped my performance reliability another percentage point. At this rate I was going to be nonfunctional before the security team could kill me.

//

I don't like being bossed around by humans, but I was happy to have Mensah take the reins in this extremely new situation.

//

Turns out human saliva isn't that bad after all. It wasn't *great*, and having more moisture in addition to my own baseline level was definitely a bizarre sensation, but it wasn't a net negative. Because I was kissing Mensah.